Secrets to Saving Money
There is one secret to saving money that will change your life forever.
Buy a washcloth.
There it is, that is the secret to success.
"Now wait just a minute." you might say. "How am I supposed to get rich by buying a washcloth?"
Well I'll tell you.
From now on we will refer to it as the shit rag.
The purpose of the shit rag is to replace your spending on toilet paper.
Seriously throw all that toilet paper away. From now on use the shit rag.
"But wait just a minute." you might say. "That thing will be dirty."
That's why buckets were invented.
If you want water then you better get used to scattering buckets around your yard and waiting for it to rain. You should only be taking showers in the rain anyways.
Now that you have buckets full of water you can use one to wash out your shit rag.
The important thing is that you're not spending money on toilet paper.
Money saved = money invested.
There are more ways to save money.
1. Build a fire in your living room to keep warm through the winters. Don't forget to cut a hole out in your ceiling for the smoke to go through.
2. BYOB! Once I told a woman I was dating to BYOB. We were going to have a date night at my home watching movies. She showed up later with a bunch of beer. Needless to say I needed to use the restroom a short while later. After I unscrewed the light bulb and went to the men's room my date started to complain. It was silly because I had told her in advance to bring her own bulb. Ugh people sometimes.
Seriously though, use only one light bulb to light your whole house. If you move to another room, bring it with you.
3. Reuse dish washing water. Enough said.
I wish you well implementing these secrets into your life. Lets all get to retirement quickly!
Buy a washcloth.
There it is, that is the secret to success.
"Now wait just a minute." you might say. "How am I supposed to get rich by buying a washcloth?"
Well I'll tell you.
From now on we will refer to it as the shit rag.
The purpose of the shit rag is to replace your spending on toilet paper.
Seriously throw all that toilet paper away. From now on use the shit rag.
"But wait just a minute." you might say. "That thing will be dirty."
That's why buckets were invented.
If you want water then you better get used to scattering buckets around your yard and waiting for it to rain. You should only be taking showers in the rain anyways.
Now that you have buckets full of water you can use one to wash out your shit rag.
The important thing is that you're not spending money on toilet paper.
Money saved = money invested.
There are more ways to save money.
1. Build a fire in your living room to keep warm through the winters. Don't forget to cut a hole out in your ceiling for the smoke to go through.
2. BYOB! Once I told a woman I was dating to BYOB. We were going to have a date night at my home watching movies. She showed up later with a bunch of beer. Needless to say I needed to use the restroom a short while later. After I unscrewed the light bulb and went to the men's room my date started to complain. It was silly because I had told her in advance to bring her own bulb. Ugh people sometimes.
Seriously though, use only one light bulb to light your whole house. If you move to another room, bring it with you.
3. Reuse dish washing water. Enough said.
I wish you well implementing these secrets into your life. Lets all get to retirement quickly!
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