Minimum Wage Ninja

During the rare occasion when I'm exercising the muscles built while exercising continue to burn fat even after I'm done.   The dividends just keep rolling into my bank account. And when I'm lonely the people who I've loved will seek me out first. What I'm trying to say is that you need to build your slippery slope upwards.   Everyone of us screws up and falls.  Its great to know that even though I get terminated from my job there will be no rock bottom because my investments will keep pushing me back up.

For over three years my lover and I haven't seen eye to eye on this financial independence thing. We're pretty much compatible with nearly everything else. It hurts, but I've used the extra oomph from focusing on my new year's resolutions to remove my SO from the equation. You see there is this thing called the Seinfeld method. Basically I choose which resolutions I wanted to do for the year.  Then I got a calendar and put an X on every day that I do the resolutions. Can't let anyone get in the way of that X. Not even my closest.

Listening to old Jim Rohn seminars has been motivating lately.  His message is good, but I always get uncomfortable listening to things like this.  Something I've picked up on is that people are paying attention and laughing during the jokes, but they are not doing so during the serious parts.  It makes me uncomfortable.  One of my favorite sayings of Jim Rohn's is that it is not available to you by affirmation, it is available by labor.  That is how I feel as I go about my day putting in as many extra hours as I can during the holiday season.  Yet these people aren't even doing the labor of paying attention in the first place.  Am I just fooling myself when I think that all the paying attention I did during lectures in class is what I should have been doing?  Results are what matter, and these people did become successful enough to afford motivational seminars.  Another thing I've been doing that cuts into my sleeping time is reading a b...

I'd like to set the record straight about something called the 4% rule. You see the 4% rule basically says that after you retire it is safe to withdraw 4% of your principle each year and never run out of money (which completely ignores the never touch your principle rule). My imaginary friends like to ask me, Minimum Wage Ninja, what do you think of the 4% rule? Well I think it is better than the 50% rule.  But it is worse than the 1% rule.   You see cash is king, and having a lot of money sit there is great and all. But kings can only move one square.   Dividends Are Queen.   You can take the cash from the dividends and move them anywhere that you like. That is power.

I've been reading articles over at  https://notalwaysright.com/ .  They have a multitude of customer service related stories.  As an ex customer service supervisor for a large retailer, I thought I would enjoy reading these stories.  However I was wrong, the people in these stories are absolutely horrifying.  Just to clarify incase you didn't know, its not ok to lie.  Its not ok to steal.  Its not ok to be unethical or treat people like trash.  That's not to say the authors of these stories are in the right either.  I can't quite put my finger on it, there is something that angers and depresses me while I am reading these stories.  These customers would not be allowed into my life, neither would many of the authors.  I find myself arriving at the uncomfortable conclusion that although many stories are entertaining and nostalgic, I should not read them.  I will not allow this nonsense in my life, not even by just readi...

I've heard that a significant percentage of people who win the lottery end up bankrupt. They simply did not have what it takes to handle the wealth that they were hoping to get. What brings these people down?  Is it a bad attitude that brings these people down?  Is it a lack of resources other than finances?  Is it a lack of a support system?  I don't have the answers, but I do see this as a  serious and important question. This is important because we have all won lotteries.   I've won the time lottery, this being the greatest time in the history of earth to be alive. I've won the genetic lottery, because clearly I'm smarter than the loser who passed me driving down the road this morning. I've won the country lottery, having been born in a country that other people risked life and limb to get to. I've won the physical health lottery, because I can still walk, talk, and take action. Despite all this?  I'm becoming bankrupt...

I have heard many people say that you shouldn't try to time the market. So being the contrarian that I am, today I'm going to try and time the market. By the market I mean the New York Stock Exchange.  It should open around nine thirty and close around four or so.  But we'll see. If everything goes as planed there will be six and a half hours to buy as much ownership of companies as I can.  It is a good time to buy no matter which hour I purchase more ownership in.  This is because, as J.L. Collins puts it,  the market always goes up.

I'm guilty of falling into the trap of thinking that people can retire early.  That simply isn't true. Retirement happens when you've earned enough passive income to cover your expenses.  Age has nothing to do with it.  You are now working because you want to, not because you have to. There is nothing early about retirement. This was on my mind due to the recent article that claims because people are living to be over 100 years old, it should be law to push back the retirement age to 70. It is insanity to think that people want to spend their longer lives on working for the man.  Its like they just don't understand what motivates people to live longer lives at all. Here is the reality and I'll say it again, retirement happens when you earn it.  Some earn it as a teenager by being a trust fund baby.  Some earn it in their 20's or 30's.  Some in their 60's.  But don't let anyone take that away from you.  There is no way that I am work...

When I was drinking a beer, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was chasing skirts, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was playing games, the rich were out there getting richer.  When I was educating myself, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was at church, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was learning how to defend myself, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was trying to impress my boss, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was fighting the punk who elbowed me in a basketball game, the rich were out there getting richer. When I was just surviving, the rich were out there getting richer. That's what they do.  Its time to seriously consider what I'm doing and why it ain't getting richer.

There is a disturbing trend I see among the self help books. They are all full of BS phrases like "you've got to make a choice to get rich," or "if you're in poverty it is because you didn't want riches enough." Just shut up. I didn't sit down and make a choice to live in poverty.  I choose to do the right things to get rich. I didn't sit down and make a choice to be fat.  I chose to do the right things to be fit. I didn't sit down and make a choice to be single.  I chose to do what I was supposed to do to be popular. And I sure as heck didn't sit down and say "Gee, today I'm going to be as irresponsible as possible and hurt myself and my family as much as possible."  Heck no. So if you got nothing better to say then "You control your own actions" or "You chose to have a heart attack" then just shut up.  Quit writing books.  Quit giving speeches.  Go away, you're not helping me. Yeah I kn...

There is one thing that we all need.  Everyone is doing it.  If you go without for a few days, then the desire to get some will overwhelm you. That thing is drinking water. Now most people wrap their water up in a plastic cup.  But have you considered using your hands?  If not, then it is time to unleash the beast.  There is something mindblowingly primal about drinking with your hands. The correct technique is to clasp your hands together like you've just clapped.  Open them 45 degrees and dip them in the water.  Quickly bring that water to your mouth as fast as possible!  Be refreshed.  Build that arm strength.  Enjoy life. The math is supportive of this.  A good plastic cup will run you like a dollar at the discount store.  Yet that same dollar if invested for 100 years at 10% will end up being $13,780.61.  That's enough money for a solid gold cup! $73 dollars invested at 10% for 100 years will end up bei...

For days I've been watching the Dave Ramsey Show video clips on Youtube.   I really hate this stuff.  There is nothing worse then hearing the story of someone who does not get what they had coming.  I played by the rules, I did things the right way, yet I didn't succeed and don't have any hope left of doing so.  But these people who screwed off all their life and got into over half a million dollars in debt are given the opportunity to turn it around within a few years?  What about us people who did everything correctly, why's that not my opportunity huh? Perhaps its a character default of mine.  But who cares? What I've come to realize while watching this show is that life is fair to these people after all.  Sure they screwed up.  But they also did what they had to do to get out of their messes.  I suppose that's fair.   It is amazing how many people appear to not actually be aware of the decisions that they are making. ...

I got a low credit score.  Who cares? Either they'll loan me the money or they won't. It appears that the reason my credit score is low is because I don't have a credit card. I'll gladly sacrifice your imaginary credit score number if it means that I never have to deal with real credit card debt hell. But what about the flying miles?  And the rewards points?  And the 1% cash back!!! Screw it. Perhaps some elites have the self control to benefit from those tools.  But not little ole me living down here in povertyville.  I'd buy a 70" T.V. with that thing. So forget your credit nonsense.  It ain't worth it.

Dollar cost averaging is where you invest the same amount every month, no matter what. Because we need another financial obligation.  Gonna do great for my stress levels. Forget about it. Just buy everything that you need and want, then invest the rest. Last paycheck I had twenty bucks left over.  So I invested twenty bucks.  If I win the lottery next month and have a million dollars left over, then I'll invest a million.  If my tax check comes back and I have a thousand dollars left over after buying everything that I want, then invest the thousand. Forget plans, forget stress, and forget obligations.  Just do whatever you can.  Compounding will go to fight for you.

These are the top twenty myths about retirement. Not really, because ya know, everyone knows what retirement is. That's when ya quit your crappy job and do whatever you feel like doing. No myths there. More specifically retirement is when you no longer need to sell your time for money. Ya get that way by just getting started.  No matter how small the amount, compound interest will step up to fight for you. I believe it was Albert Einstein who said that compound interest is the eighth wonder of the world. That guy was pretty freaking smart.  If he thinks compound interest is number eight in the world, then ya best be taking advantage of it.

There is one secret to saving money that will change your life forever. Buy a washcloth. There it is, that is the secret to success. "Now wait just a minute." you might say.  "How am I supposed to get rich by buying a washcloth?" Well I'll tell you. From now on we will refer to it as the shit rag. The purpose of the shit rag is to replace your spending on toilet paper. Seriously throw all that toilet paper away.  From now on use the shit rag. "But wait just a minute." you might say.  "That thing will be dirty." That's why buckets were invented. If you want water then you better get used to scattering buckets around your yard and waiting for it to rain.  You should only be taking showers in the rain anyways. Now that you have buckets full of water you can use one to wash out your shit rag. The important thing is that you're not spending money on toilet paper. Money saved = money invested. There are more ways...

If you give a man a fish then he will eat for a day, however if you teach a man to fish then he will eat for a lifetime. The only problem is, I really don't want to eat fish anymore. I was taught to get a good paying job, and then the authorities and leaders in my life would look after my interests.  But what really happened? The supermarkets are full of poison. Education never once taught how to manage money, or how to have a healthy diet. Work grants you a forty cent raise. Till death do us part ends with high divorce rates, and leads to a fifty percent loss (or more) of capital. Your fishes are all toxic! Yet there are good things out there. The standard of living is high. The luxuries like water and electricity are nice. You have the right to speak out against the government and not worry about dying. So if all these good fish are out there, then why are all the fish that I'm being given toxic? It is because you cannot trust your authorities.  They ar...

I work 60 hours a week and on my own initiative I correct millions of dollars in mis-charged inventory. So when I heard that raises were coming I got excited.  Finally I would be given my due for all the hard work that I've done.  My boss surely sees the excellent work that I do and will reward me, right? Forty cents.  That is all the raise was.  Meanwhile everyone else in the factory has gotten so many raises over the past two years that a person can have no experience, no qualifications, and get hired on full time to make more money then I make, even after the raise. So now I"m conflicted. When I found out I was so angry that I couldn't even speak.  I've given two years of my life to becoming a valuable member of the business, and the guy doesn't even value me as much as someone new off the street?  IF I PUT THE COMPANY INTERESTS FIRST, THEN THE COMPANY BETTER RETURN THE FAVOR AND PUT MY INTERESTS FIRST. Yet a part of me is thankful for the forty...

The final number it takes to become financial independent can seem daunting. You mean I need $300,000 for early retirement?  I only gross $30,000 a year, how can I ever amass such a high number? However this number is misleading, thanks to the rule of 72. The rule of 72 states that if you take 72 and divide it by the rate of return, then you'll have an approximation of how long it will take to double your money. The stock market returns roughly 10% per year.  Therefore 72/10 = 7.2.   It'll take roughly 7 years to double your money. That makes things seem much more doable, The rat race is only to $150,000.  After that you don't have to contribute another dime, all you need to do is sit on your behind for seven years while your retirement builds itself. It feels good knowing that once I reach $150,000 the maximum amount of time until retirement is 7 years.  I'll keep contributing though, so it should be shorter. Why 300,000?  Because 300,000 tim...

Our parents used to clock in at nine and leave at five.  They had what is called a day job. At my job I clock in at six and leave at five.  Despite all the so called advances in society, things have gotten three hours a day worse for me.  That's eighteen hours a week.   If it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill 1 , that means I master roughly one less skill per decade then my parents did.   Should I take the traditional path to retirement of working from the age of twenty until the age of sixty, then I will have at minimum four less skills by the time I retire. The skills that I will cut out are not the bare bones necessities.  Instead the skills that are cut will all be entertainment and hobby skills.  By the time I reach sixty I will not know how to enjoy myself.   I only foresee this getting worse for future generations.  Will the next generation work a three to five job?  How about a midnight to five job?   ...